Come with me to a special place. It is found between your in breath and out breath…take a moment to arrive and then for just a second or two, or three…have a seat. It is one of my favorite places to visit. Yet many people never stop to enjoy it. Always pushing ahead and ignoring the space it holds. I find it to be a somewhat magical place where there is no judgement or ridicule. One will not find obligations or regrets nearby. Just simply being. After you become comfortable here…move along. Next is the place between your out breath and in breath. Again, arrive and take notice. As I wander from the inhale to exhale and back again my “should haves” and “could haves” no longer hang around my neck and simply slip away. The list for tomorrow is obscured from my sight and today becomes clearly present. So here I simply sit…between. The secret wisdoms whispered around me. I beckon them, catching some here and there…”knowings” I call them. Life’s secrets that we all have been told yet have forgotten along the way. I find them here in the between…a truly special place.
Procrastination… sometimes I get bit by this nasty bug- the sting is undeniable. Once bitten, I talk myself out of doing something because tomorrow is just around the corner and frankly, I can do it then. The whole time that I reason with myself about delaying my task at hand, I know in the recesses of my mind what I am doing…procrastinating. I feel myself becoming weak with the symptoms. I tell myself tomorrow I will feel better. Yet tomorrow is always out of reach…conveniently a few steps beyond the present and never quite in my grasp.
I am a list maker and to come down with the postpone flu or delay delusions can make life complicated. My rationalization must be sophisticated. Anxiety can become a secondary symptom and then my mental state is flush with regret. So there is a lot of chatter between Me and Myself. A few “I told you so” and “shouldn’t have done it-s” are shouted. Our resolve is tested. We must join forces to fight this urge to dilly dally.
I think I will look over my latest list- the mental one in my head. I haven’t written this one down yet. Haven’t been able to bring myself to do so. It is rather long, detailed and cumbersome. Maybe tomorrow I will face it head on. Maybe tomorrow I will tackle the details…well maybe ….
I really dislike the procrastination bug. I wish there was a vaccine for it.