I Miss You Mom

     October 13, 1934 is my mother’s birthday. Many years ago I would have gone to the “Five and Ten” store to proudly buy her a pretty pin or some cheap perfume for this special day. Makes me wish for the innocence of yesterday when life was so carefree and I thought she would be with me forever. Sometimes I would craft something for her and it would hang proudly for years- to this day some are still on the walls of the house I grew up in. Seems like yesterday I was a painfully shy little girl in awe of my mother who was so very outgoing and gregarious as she lit up the room with her smile and her stories. She could make everyone laugh and never ever stopped laughing at herself. I miss you Mom.

As I grew older I realized that this woman was really beautiful ( I know all mothers are) but she was seriously very attractive. She modeled some, did local tv commercials and taught “charm school classes” to girls. Mom also opened a health club for women. A woman years ahead of the times she was fearless in her determination to make her mark.

     In my teens, my mom was someone my friends and I could talk to- about anything. She did not always understand us but she would listen. In her own way she was very traditional in her thinking (very unlike me) but I am sure it was her love that helped me grow into my own person.

     Beloved Mema to my children, Mom was the ultimate grandmother. She lived and breathed love for her grandchildren. Upon her passing, my son- a college student at the time- looked at me with great sadness and simply said “ I just lost my best friend.” I knew it was true. They were SNL buddies, calling each other at midnight laughing about the show that was just over. He shared her wit and love for laughter. She had attached herself deeply in his heart. My daughter also shared a very special relationship with my mother. Amazingly they were so very alike in their appreciation for success, always striving to reach further. At times they seemed to butt heads- I think my mother saw herself so clearly reflected in my daughter that Mom sometimes felt driven to push  her even further forward. Oh, but they were powerfully connected and to this day I hold a secret belief that they were once sisters in a previous life.

     Losing your mother. It is tough, very tough no matter how old you are when you lose her. Like the unraveling of a favorite skirt hem, life remains intact but a bit frayed. It hurts, phone calls no longer made and milestones shared only in my heart. I miss you Mom. I thank you for being my mother and a wonderful grandmother to my children. Your life was a gift to us and you have left us with many exquisite memories filled with laughter and love. I think of you daily, and talk with you in my dreams. Happy Birthday…I miss you Mom.