I have never found it entertaining to watch people get hurt on tv “ video” shows. It is physically painful just watching. I have never found it entertaining to watch someone on tv in a situation that is very uncomfortable for them….it becomes very uncomfortable for me. There is an overwhelming ache of uselessness in knowing I possess no ability to intervene and help them. So is the life of an Empath. I suggest to you that it can be truly painful to the spirit. It is also the pain I experience when watching a lifeless child being scooped up off a foreign shoreline, or the nameless face of a war victim, stunned and shell shocked, calmly wiping blood from his 3 year old eyes….Pure agony.
It might be hard to believe that I suffer from this overload of sappy empathy. Stupid to some, I’m sure of it. Ironic since I have looked into the faces of numerous dead babies- victims from abuse, held the hand of children too afraid to talk of the monster in their home, and listened to the cries of women who were raped at the hand of a trusted friend. But in those situations I could help or at least try to make a semblance of such. That is what an Empath does.
I believe that the nature of an Empath can be found in many progressive liberals. It is necessary for us to feel the pain, the joy, and the despair of the desperate. It is within us to try to make life better for them. We are mocked for our bleeding hearts and our inability to see the justice in survival of the fittest. We are tomorrow’s victims in the world of bullies and yesterday’s crybabies. We find life bound together with others not by our differences but by our souls. We care too much… to the dissatisfaction of some.
Today, my spirit and soul hurt with such pain. I know there are many very fearful and overwhelmed people in America who do not know what tomorrow will bring. In life, competition is the daily bread for many. In life, many cannot afford bread nor have the will to compete. Someone must feed their spirit and guard their souls and we take it upon ourselves to do it. If you are not an Empath this may never make sense to you, but if you are, I send you many hugs. Almost intolerable at times, this witnessing of empowered haters and racists, misogynists and those who just simply don’t get looking out for the other guy takes its toll. So I say to you, be kind to yourself dear empathetic friends. Rest well, reduce the toxicity around you and connect with like individuals. You are needed to continue the call…and the caring. This is your painful truth.
There is something about staring into the eyes of a little one. Those deep pools of wide-eyed contemplation…able to stare right back with unabashed curiosity. It is a silent mutual acknowledgment between two bits of humanity… knowing that we will somehow change each other’s life in some measurable way.
There is something about receiving a smile from the lips of a little one. The grin that grows from their toes and makes one feel hope, optimism, and excitement for the future. How could life not be so is whispered in my ear from somewhere in my heart.
There is something about seeing your child within the spirit of a little one. That child that you cradled so many years ago during the midnight hours while others slept. That child who came to you with boo boos to be kissed, hands to be held, and homework to be discussed. That child who you watched grow before your eyes into an adult…and now looking back with those deep pools, I am reminded that this is the past, present and future before me… This is love.
Who do we want to become? Is it wealth that will make us feel fulfilled and successful? Making sure that those who lie below us in the financial bed either rise and shine to work (because they are all just lazy) and get off public assistance…or be drug tested and continuously reminded that they are less valuable and less deserving of our respect…or tax dollars. While we all know many CEO’s and corporate individuals abuse drugs in abandon yet are handed our $$ without anyone giving a care or asking them to be drug tested. Why I ask?
Who do we want to become? Is it kissing the feet of corporate America, while providing them with millions in tax cuts as we silently wish to be them? Chanting the mantra of capitalism in the hope and dream that we too can reach this peak and look down upon those who have not “made it” as we count our money and feeling “blessed” that our God has given us such a life. Yet fault the less fortunate for not making their life better.
Who do we want to become? Is it stoking the fire of fear and despair and creating a world where we believe first and second amendment rights are ready to be ripped away from us from some unknown force? Where in turn we pack on the guns, (to protect ourselves from ourselves), store survival gear in preparation of Armageddon and ready ourselves to kill our neighbors if necessary.
Who do we want to become? I want none of the above. Yet daily I read of Bills being passed that are leading us down this dangerous, self-righteous slope. Soon to hit a very dark bottom. I have the desire and the will to fight this with compassion, love, and a desperation that our world will not end up this way. I refuse to spit upon those who have not what I have, I refuse to fuel the fire of fear, I refuse to think that one religion is the only way out of here. I refuse to think that more guns are the answer as I watch time and again the young children dying needlessly. I refuse to believe that the little guy does not matter. So I will help you someday, if I see that you need something and I can help. I will give you my hand without asking your religion or political interests. I will share a smile with you without asking if you pay your taxes or have a green card handy. I will not look at your age, race or sexual orientation in determining if you are worthy of my time. I refuse to lose my humanity. Who do you want to become?
Every day life greets me with change. Some days I welcome the newness of the day…other times I cling to that which we have long known and understood…and loved. When someone who has been part of my life since birth and who has shared in the many family milestones along the way passes…well it immediately tugs at my heart and soul in longing for the familiar ways of yesterday. The many gatherings of laughter shared, jokes told around the table, and basically the life journey shared not only by genetic code but by the sharing of tears, joy and family love.
And so I whisper in the silence that I will miss the past and the people tangled up in my memories. While I believe that life is truly never-ending and this is just but one stop on the fantastic journey… I will always miss those who make their way before me. I will miss you Uncle…older brother to my mother. You have moved on to once again connect with those who have gone before you… I can only imagine the reunion to be full of wit and peppered with jokes and sweet sarcasm – and I smile.
As I get ready for another day, I remind myself of that which I continuously take for granted. I look around me in wonder of all that is and I feel a knowingness that words do not explain. And then once again I remind myself…
The beauty of our present is captured in the fragility of life – not knowing what tomorrow will be yet remembering what yesterday was…
Capturing the right words to express my pure love and gratitude for you…well it is much like trying to take hold of the sweet summer breeze that gently brushes my face. A daunting task as I cherish you beyond description.
Life can bring many storms upon my door. I find that you unselfishly provide me with a shelter of warmth, compassion, respect, safety and stability…when the clouds have gathered and the thunder roars.
Life can bring darkness, despair and a chill to my heart. Your love is my sunshine that chases away the bitter cold and brightens my soul.
Life can bring many challenges and obstacles. Difficult days yet with you I feel hope, encouragement and a precious peace. I look towards tomorrow and dare to dream with you by my side.
But not to forget, life can bring laughter, celebration and exquisite joy. This I have found with you. I absolutely could not imagine life any other way. I believe that I have known you forever and a day and I will love you every bit as long…or longer.