It is quiet now. Yesterday is finding its special place in my heart of memories. Tomorrow yet to be. As I sit here and reflect, life settles back into a semblance of unwanted order. I yearn for just one more hour of the rush and flurry of activity even though my body declares exhaustion. I wish for the continued gathering of friends and family yet they dutifully now find their way back to their homes. Always difficult for me…these winding down quiet times.
I believe it is the unknown path of tomorrow that plants the seed of anxiety within. Watered by tears and emotions of sweet nostalgic essence, I discover it is up to me whether I tend the growth of this weed or deny its existence. I fight the battle and tell myself tomorrow will be full of many yesterdays to look forward to and I will myself to find my way there.
I have always felt this twisting of the stomach and ache of the heart after wonderful events in my life are complete. Silly I know….while many find relief and sense of completion, I find a bit of grief and lingering malaise. Hmmm…. Here we go again. As so many times before, I will find this disappear in time as I move along in life and accept that life moves along whether I want it to or not. So I grudgingly shuffle my feet off to bed and reflect upon all the amazing and wonderful new memories that have been made, secretly and silently hoping for many more.