My life is filled with dreams, desires and dandelions. Those pesky little sprouting weeds of thought. As hopes and plans germinate lists in my head…some find their way to pen and paper- others are left unattended. The neglected ones multiply daily thus the dandelions quickly and effortlessly emerge.
Like many planners, I tend to strategize and trick myself into a false sense of internal organization- all under the guise of control. But I can never rid myself of those pesky dandelions. Upon rising to start a new day, they greet me, calling attention to themselves…reminding me that I am really never in control.
There is something to learn from the dandelions of life. While I could continuously pull and dig, pick and spray, they seem to always find a way back into my life. I am now trying to appreciate their sunny yellow bright flower- much like I did as a child. I am now attempting to stand up a bit to tomorrows’ lists and desires. Admiring today for what it is – is most important…dandelions and all.
Procrastination… sometimes I get bit by this nasty bug- the sting is undeniable. Once bitten, I talk myself out of doing something because tomorrow is just around the corner and frankly, I can do it then. The whole time that I reason with myself about delaying my task at hand, I know in the recesses of my mind what I am doing…procrastinating. I feel myself becoming weak with the symptoms. I tell myself tomorrow I will feel better. Yet tomorrow is always out of reach…conveniently a few steps beyond the present and never quite in my grasp.
I am a list maker and to come down with the postpone flu or delay delusions can make life complicated. My rationalization must be sophisticated. Anxiety can become a secondary symptom and then my mental state is flush with regret. So there is a lot of chatter between Me and Myself. A few “I told you so” and “shouldn’t have done it-s” are shouted. Our resolve is tested. We must join forces to fight this urge to dilly dally.
I think I will look over my latest list- the mental one in my head. I haven’t written this one down yet. Haven’t been able to bring myself to do so. It is rather long, detailed and cumbersome. Maybe tomorrow I will face it head on. Maybe tomorrow I will tackle the details…well maybe …. I really dislike the procrastination bug. I wish there was a vaccine for it.